Ok, turtles are really, really dumb. They're pretty cute though.
As I mentioned in a previous post, there are a ton of painted turtles around NEB in Ipswich, and they are always trying to cross the roads for various insane turtle reasons. Usually I think its that when things get too wet, they go for the high ground to dry out, and also they seem to like to make their nests on the other side of the road from their ponds.
On Monday I came across a pair of big painted turtles (about 4-5" wide, 6-7" long) just hanging out in the main driveway of NEB. I don't know what they were doing. The didn't seem to be going anywhere, and I don't think they were together on a turtle date or anything, because they were like 30' apart and not even looking at each other. I can't think they were trying to actually cross the road, since the side opposite their pond contained the main buildings of NEB and is a big hill, so there's no other water in that direction. Maybe they were basking, but there was plenty of land around the pond, so I dunno why they were convinced they needed to go flop in the asphalt to bask.
In any case, I figured I would move the cute but dumb things back to their pond before someone came and drove over them. The first ungrateful turtle hissed at me like he was some sort of giant movie crocodile or Jurrasic Park raptor. The second one peed all over me. I never imagined so much liquid could come out of such a tiny body. At least now I know to always point turtles away from the body. Then, after dropping the turtle-fire hose next to the pond, i brushed something in the grass that bit my elbow, some gross insect that was about 1 cm in diameter. I didn't see it, just felt it when I brushed/rolled it off, so I don't know if it was a tick, spider or fly, but my elbow proceeded to swell up, and still itches.
That's what I get for trying to be helpful.